Why We’re Not Finding Out the Sex of Our Baby Before the Birth

Bambi, Flower, Thumper

When you tell people that you’re expecting, it seems the first question is always “Do you know if the baby is a girl or boy yet?”. And when we share that we’re waiting to find out until baby makes his/her grand entrance into the world, we get one of two responses:

“Awesome!”, “Good for you!”, “That’s what we did!” or similar


“Whyyyyy?!?!?” which is quickly followed with “How will you decorate the nursery?” (We’re not having one) and “What about the name?” (We’ll pick out options for each, not so hard) and my personal favorite “Isn’t it driving you completely CRAZY not to know? Don’t you want to know? How can you not want to know?!?” (No, we’re okay with this, but clearly you could use a glass of wine after hearing our news…).  So for those of you wondering “Whyyyy?!?!?”, here is why waiting to find out was the right choice for us:

Ultrasounds Are Still Educated Guesses

Ultrasound technology has come a long way over the years but even now, they can still lead to the wrong gender prediction. Everyone knows at least one person who was supposed to have (or be) a girl/boy but got quite a surprise in the delivery room.

Babies Do Not Care About Pink v. Blue

Beautifully decorated nurseries are more for the parents than the baby, at least at first. Our nursery is half of our master bedroom, meaning it needs to be something both hubby and I can live with on a daily basis. Pale yellow and sage work with our white furniture and current bedspread/curtains/rug and scream “baby” a lot less than a pepto-bismol or blueberry explosion over half the room. If the gender is not known, it prevents well meaning friends and family from gifting us with large quantities of pink or blue “stuff”, at least for now.

We Want More Than One Kid

We already know we want more than one child. And I certainly do not want to choose between having to get all new baby “stuff” when we have perfectly good pink versions if the first is a girl (or vice versa) or paying for therapy later when our son asks us why all his baby photos feature hot pink and Disney princess onesies.

Motivation to Push

We’re planning for a natural, unmedicated birth. I know my personality and the motivation of finally finding out whether baby is a boy or girl will give me something positive to focus on during labor.

The Announcement

We’re looking forward to being able to share not just when the baby was born and the vitals (height, weight, etc.) but also the name and gender. This way all the grandparents get two very cool surprises – finding out we were pregnant and then whether it’s a grandson or granddaughter after the birth. Also, if anyone in the family is secretly hoping we’ll have one or the other, it’s a lot harder to be disappointed with a real live bundle of newborn cuteness than an abstract announcement of pink or blue.

Bonus: Watching People React

This was not one of the reasons we decided to wait to find out the gender, but hubby and I have really enjoyed seeing how anxious some people get when finding out we are waiting to know. If you are one of those people, you will probably want to get the gender ultrasound when you do this but in the meantime, your intense focus on how on earth we are going to pick out bedding for the baby is pretty amusing for us. So thank you 🙂

Did you/will you find out the gender of your children before the birth? Why or why not? 


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